Even with all the preparation and support parents get leading up to their baby’s birth, and even if everything goes right according to birth caregivers, it can, on some occasions, be very wrong. A traumatic birth is intense, distressing and can lead to other problems down the track. But the good news is with a bit of forward planning there are things parents and professionals can do to minimize some of the risks, and there’s also support for new parents if the birth experience is traumatic for any reason.
Trauma can occur in any setting when we feel completely powerless against an overwhelming force. In birth, it can happen with a protracted labor, complicated delivery, emergency cesarean birth or if the baby becomes distressed for some reason. Both mothers and fathers can experience birth trauma, even if the other parent is not negatively impacted by the birth. With the current global virus crisis and restrictions on birth attendants, the potential for trauma is greater.
Trauma is more likely to occur when events are completely unexpected and become increasingly overwhelming, especially if it gets to the point of threatening the wellbeing of either mum or baby.
Unresolved birth trauma can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and also increase the risk of perinatal mental health issues, so it’s important to identify trauma and seek help as early as possible.
To reduce the risks for birth trauma, choose a birth environment and caregivers who provide honest and realistic information about birth and what to expect in the first few weeks afterwards, who give plenty of emotional support and choices along the way.
Women and partners who feel empowered, respected and in control of the labour and birth process - or at least an active part in it - are less likely to become traumatized. If they can’t be present at the birth, fathers or partners can be involved in other ways and soon afterwards, so plan ahead for this. Parents who are ignored by caregivers or treated in a patronizing, dismissive or disrespectful manner are more at risk.
If you have had a traumatic birth experience, expect to feel ‘not normal’ for a while. You will be recovering from psychological injuries as well as any physical ones you have experienced or seen. Both you and your partner should debrief with a trusted professional as soon as possible, either separately or together. You may find you have a need to talk about the birth repeatedly, and this can help reduce the shock.
You may find one of you wants to talk and the other partner isn’t ready. Don’t force them, but find an alternative good listener instead. Be gentle on yourself, and on each other. Don’t judge yourself or your partner, tell yourselves you could have done things differently or to just “get over it” or “put it out of your mind”. Trauma doesn’t work that way. Trying to forget it is more likely to delay the processing, healing and moving on - so reach out for support instead.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a set of symptoms that commonly occur following a traumatic birth and can affect both birthing women and their birth partner. Symptoms include insomnia, panic attacks, being on edge all the time, flashbacks or nightmares, irritability or spats of anger, feeling detached from the baby and others, numb or empty or feeling like something bad can happen at any moment.
It’s not uncommon for traumatized parents to feel like they’re going crazy, and this is especially true if those around them don’t recognize the trauma and are celebrating the birth instead.
Some parents describe a traumatic birth as like having a bad car accident on the way to their wedding.
If friends refuse to listen to any “negatives” about the birth or professionals gloss over any emotional distress due to a lack of understanding birth trauma, this is likely to increase a parent’s sense of isolation and helplessness and can exacerbate things.
Thankfully, help is available.
Debriefing for both parents after the event can minimize the ongoing effects of trauma and help prevent PTSD. This can be done via video conferencing. Talk to a G.P. or counselor who can recommend treatment options, most of which are quite simple and only take a few weeks or months to complete. Working with a psychologist who uses EMDR trauma treatment may only mean a few sessions. Connecting with supportive, compassionate and understanding people, locally or on-line is a great source of ongoing support.
Birth trauma can affect dads or partners in a unique way too. Sometimes partners can feel like they’ve “failed” to protect their loved one at her most vulnerable - and can feel guilty or ashamed about this. This can make it hard for a partner to talk about things and, if they can’t find a way, can leave mum feeling even more helpless, abandoned and alone. It’s important to support and validate parents in this position with the knowledge that when things get out of hand very quickly, going into shock is the normal response. When we’re in shock we’re likely to freeze or shut down, our brains don’t work properly and so normal reactions go out the window - even sometimes for people who are used to these conditions.
Being able to talk about things eventually is important for healing, even if you need help to do it.
If you’re a birth related professional, becoming aware of the contributors and effects of birth trauma is the beginning of helping parents avoid or manage it.
If you’re working with a parent who has been traumatized, facilitate healing conversations with both parents or refer them to someone who can, as birth trauma can affect couple relationships well into the future.
The best part of this challenging situation is that supporting couples to be able to talk together and hear what the birth experience was like for each other can give them a deeper insight and understanding of each other, help partners pull closer and provide plenty of opportunities for much needed mutual comfort and support.
Couples can form a deeper, stronger bond for going through something like this together. And that can end up being a beautiful experience for them.
For more information on birth trauma see the Australian Birth Trauma Association website.